at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
