My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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