Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
