new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
