Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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