you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
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Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
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Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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