you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
