While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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