I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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