Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
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