He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
they need to just BURY HIM!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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