At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she smelled like a LAN party
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
