i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
