she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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