One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
