Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
