bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
