She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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