How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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