Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
only you would photoshop your dick
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
