That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
