u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Even the bartender felt bad for me
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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