please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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