he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
