i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
