My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
