You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
