Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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