why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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