One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
