Small penises have feelings too.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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