My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
