Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
