I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
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