Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
