I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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