I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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