At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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