you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Is it because I queefed?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
