I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Congratulations! We have a period
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