yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
