Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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