She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
