I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
