I'm gonna have a badass scar
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
