I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
