Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
