I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
