She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
