i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
smell my finger.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
