toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I party with great urgency now.
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