I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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