need another drink. this is the easiest way
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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