i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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