Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Randomize
