i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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