no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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