I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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