Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize