You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
