Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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