Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
