Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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