Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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