If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
