Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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