i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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