You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize