So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
These tits shall not be calmed
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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