He felt like a one man threesome
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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